I've watched this scene from the teacher's side of the desk, and it hurts every time.
It's late October, and a senior appears at a classroom door to ask a good, busy teacher for a recommendation letter that's due in two weeks. The teacher says yes, because teachers say yes. Then writes a letter that could describe any of forty students. Two weeks and no material is what they were given.
Here's the version that works. It starts this week, not in October.
Ask early, and ask it this way.
First two weeks of September, in person.
Sample ask: "Would you be able to write me a strong recommendation letter this fall?"
The word strong matters — it gives an honest teacher a graceful way out, and you want letters from the ones who don't take it. Two teachers, ideally from junior year, ideally in subjects that point toward the intended major. Popular teachers cap their list. Early askers get on it.
Then hand them the brag sheet.
A brag sheet is a one-page summary of your teen that teachers write the letter from. One page. Not the four-page life story some websites recommend — busy teachers skim those and forget them.
Put three things on that page.
Two specific moments from that teacher's class ("the sourdough yeast experiment I redesigned in October"). The thread that connects your teen's activities. And where they're headed, and why. Specific moments are what teachers can't invent and readers can't ignore. The letter almost writes itself around them.
Then make it easy to deliver.
Deadlines listed. Submission method named. Thank-you note after — your teen will need this teacher again in December.
This weekend:
Your teen drafts the two-name ask list and the three brag-sheet moments. Fifteen minutes now buys a letter that sounds like a person.
Sample brag-sheet moment: "In your class, I redesigned the sourdough yeast experiment in October after my first trial failed — you said the write-up read like a real lab report."
Drafting the brag sheet this weekend? Post your teen's three moments in First in Class — my free community — and get a second set of mom eyes before it goes to the teacher. Join free
P.S. Reply with the word LETTERS and next Saturday I'll send the other half: what should never go in a brag sheet. Some answers will surprise you.